Monday, October 27, 2008

27/10/08

I just don't know what to do about my life.

I just don't know anymore.

In a stage of happiness and deep depression...

I want to write more, but what can I say?

I just don't know anymore.

I just feel so alone.

Why am I so lonely?

B doesn't want to hear it anymore.

I talked, and attempted to talk to him a second ago, and he made so little conversation that it's obvious...and we've just stopped talking. I want to say something, but I can't...

What is there to say?

This is much too sad.

I don't want to grow apart. I want us to stay close, and be close.

There are other guys out there, I know, but he's the only one who really knows me.

Would S still love me if he knew I was like this? No.

I can't get close to anyone...I have made absolutely heaps of new friends, but they don't really know the true me. Only he knows. And he's tired of it.

I've been eating so much more than normal.

I don't know what to do.

I just don't know what to do.

I wish he'd help me, but why would he?

He doesn't care anymore.

Paper Bag- 'cuz I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up'

Oh, yeah.

3 comments:

hey.hana said...

So maybe you're a mess. Who isn't? How boring would life be if you weren't? Just remember: "hunger hurts, but starving works"

I love that song. that whole album, actually. The entirety of her work is pretty much genius.

I'm sorry you feel lonely. I do too, if that makes you feel better. It's like I literally can't relate with those around me, and I'm having a hard time connecting/communicating with pretty much everyone ((family, friends, complete strangers, etc.))

I can't escape the sensation that I need my solitude for a bit, because ultimately any strength we have comes from ourselves. I need to test myself and my limits. I want to know what I can do in hopes that it will shed some light on who I am.

but that's just me.

Hang in there. I have faith in you!
xHana

belle svelte said...

keep posting, i'm listening. drop me a line if you want to: belle.svelte@yahoo

feel better x

nadja said...

hang in there girl. but i do know what those things you desribe feel like :-(