Wednesday, October 22, 2008

22/10/08

Right, seeing as everyone else is writing out meal plans and forbidden foods, I think I shall too:

Breakfast- 1/3 scoop oatmeal (100) + 1 1/2 servings fruit (90)

Lunch- 1 fruit (30-70)

Dinner- (>300)

Snack- >50

Drinks- hot chocolate (35), water (0), diluted juice (30)

So, the most it should be is 610 food wise, 675 food and drink combined.

On top of that I will be doing exercise, which should burn at least 150 off.

Forbidden foods:

peanut butter
digestives
cookies
chocolate
ham and swiss by itself

I have an idea...I'm going to start twitter for my blog. Right after I post this, actually. I think it'll help me keep my discipline up.

Today I did a lot worse. I'm going to round it up to 900, which is NOT GOOD.

However, I still think it's alright. My family have started to notice my anorexic tendencies, and keep making jokes that I'm 'anorexic without the ana'....i.e, I'm still FAT. Which is completely true.

And I'm lazy, too. Thank God it's nearly half term. Then I can revise, revise, revise without getting distracted.

I'm not revising now. I should be.

Today my mom said to me, 'You just complain about your problems to make yourself look cool. You don't have any problems.'

No, there's not much in my life I can really complain about. I'm stressed out, but I should work harder. My mom stresses me out, but it's nothing I can really complain about. My friends tell me I work too hard, but I know that I can work a lot harder than I do. They think my family is insane because they are so...I don't know, catty? What they do is just wear you down. Every day the same mean comments, the same snide words, the constant tension just builds up until you begin to crack, very, very slowly. It happened to my dad. It's not enough to make you feel like you have anything to complain about, so you try to bear it and be happy about it while it slowly hurts more and more every day...

I can do this. I'm going to allow myself to snack on my lettuce stuff as much as I want. It has to be good for you. It must be. I can't even think where the calories would be.

Don't you love it when you crave your healthy foods? I'm eating it right now.

I will do this. I will reach 90. I will do this. I will do this. I can do this, I will do this.

I'm going to start a twitter too so I can get my discipline up. Follow me, guys, and maybe start one too- it helps knowing that someone will always be discouraging you from eating that chocolate muffin!

3 comments:

hey.hana said...

What is this twitter business?

I'm trying to figure out mobile blogging but it is proving quite difficult...

and don't stress about your family. I myself am in a similar situation, and all my life I've just had to remember: 18 in a few years ((but now only five months!!!!!) No one in your life is as important or worthwhile as you. Ever.

Ignore the haters.

peace girly,
x Hana

Ana-matronic said...

That is such shit what your family said to you... it is my personal opinion no one should ever crack fat jokes. Its just so hurtful!

Do what makes you happy. If they knew what was best for you, they clearly wouldn't be saying shit that made you feel badly about yourself. Stay strong!
xoxo Ana-matronic

Jessie said...

WTF at what your mum says?! I was so shocked at what she said when you talked to B on MSN too. Shocker!