Sunday, November 16, 2008

16/10/08

This week has been a pretty fat week.

On Wednesday, S took me out and I ate lots. Then on Thursday, I ate lots again. Then on Friday, we went out for a meal and I ate a ridiculous amount there, although it was chinese food which isn't that fattening. Then on Saturday we had another birthday dinner for him, and I ate lots of chocolate. And then today I ate lots of chocolate again. So I'm quite fat. And my body is used to eating. And I love chocolate. So I'm fat.

BUT this is the start of a new week! I'm going out with S now, and I will lose weight. He's Chinese, so he's used to thin girls and he's fussy. So I can't gain weight. In fact, I have to lose weight and start dressing better. He doesn't expect me to, obviously, but I have incentive now. Which is good.

Tests tomorrow, and on Tuesday. I'm not prepared at all. Which sucks.

I generally feel like quite a mess right now. I can't stop eating. I know I've gained weight. I can feel it when I walk...and it sickens me.

I don't feel too healthy. I feel like a failure when I post.

But tomorrow's another day, right?

At least I feel like I'm not doing it just for myself anymore.

2 comments:

jane said...

It's good that you are now with S, I'm happy for you. However, it is easy to forget about your weight goals and food portions when you are distracted. I think it is actually better when you are improving your lifestyle habits for yourself and your own health. We shouldn't feel the need to impress others.
It is another week, good luck. Maybe you should consider detoxing for a few days on raw foods and plenty of water. You will feel less bloated and definitely lighter.

nadja said...

it's a new day and a new week. you're not alone in this, xxx.