Sunday, January 25, 2009

25/9/09

I did alright up until dinner, and then I ate more cookie dough. I love baking, love food, but hate gaining weight. So it's a bit of a problem.

I feel fat right now. Really, really fat. You know when there's that stage where you can gain a little weight, gain a little weight and you still look alright, but then you gain a little more weight and you've passed that stage of 'I look normal' to 'I look a little bit, almost imperceptibly chubby, but I've hit the line where I can't gain any more weight.' Well, I've reached that line and I need to lose weight. Most people would disagree. But I'm 5 ft 2 and 110 pounds, and that is way, way too big. Today is the last day of my period excuse. I'm about to go dance, and then when I get upstairs I'm going to work out like normal. I can feel the fat on me. I need to lose it. I need to stop being disgusting and I will do it.

3 comments:

nadja said...

how are you feeling now?

firebird89 said...

you sound exactly like me. i fluctuate so much too that it's so hard for me to figure out what my actual weight is. i've felt so angry at my weight for a long time, and this year i have finally started to take action on it. i love food too, so it's been really difficult.. i totally understand.

Anonymous said...

I think the same way. I like food too,but when I eat,I feel disgusted and end up purging. Better not to eat at all. I do drink Ensures and milk for protein.