21/10/08

=600

Today I worked out for 30min on the treadmill and burnt 277 cals. I was doing really well before I got home, where I ate a small dinner and some great pickled lettuce. (seriously, guys, if you need snack food, just eat this- it's an acquired taste but if you feel like you're going to binge eat some- it's sour, so it takes away your cravings, and it has zero calories as all it is is lettuce, vinergar and peppers and some other stuff...I'll get the recipe) And then...I ate half a digestive, peanut butter, dates, ham and cheese. However, still 600! Feeling pretty pleased with myself :)

I have GOT to stop binging. I just eat and eat and eat. It's horrible, and I'm ashamed.

Thank God the exercise offset it.

I'm still feeling quite happy at the mo.

I just need to get this under control.

Otherwise, everything will be fine.

Pressure from school is hard.

There are so many things I don't understand...

Thank God it's half term in a week.

Then I can just revise all day.

Right now, I don't feel like I have enough time to revise, or even do my homework properly.

And it discourages me so much when I can't do some of my homework.

ARGH.

The stress is builing up, and I don't know what to do.

I must, I must get all As in my AS. I must get into the best universities in the world. I must make my family proud.

This is not for me. This is for them. I will, I will make them proud.

And I will do it.

I'm happy right now, but the stress is right behind me, snapping at my heels.

Eating less helps, at least.

Meanwhile, I'm pretty happy.

I feel like I made progress today.

I know I can do this.

I think I've lost a little bit of weight on my stomach.

My ribs stick out again. When I feel my stomach, I can feel the individual ribs.

It makes me happy. :)

But that's not due to losing weight. I need to lose 20 pounds so I can get to 90.

People in school comment about how thin I am, which is quite odd considering there are girls way, waaaay skinnier than me.

Just wait till they see how low I can go!

I will do it. I can do it, and I will do it.

I'm going to exercise every day after school like this, and I'm going to eat only my dinner and that's it.

I can go lower.

I can reach 90.